Well I have my court date set! On December 9th 2009 I will be legally Melissa Ann! It's a big date, and I am nervous and exited about it at the same time.

My therapist has recognized that I am full time today, and will start the clock. She is flexible on the one year test. She said if progress well over the next 6 - 9 months she will write the letter for surgery then. I am still up in the air about getting surgery. Lots to think about! I am taking transition one step at a time, and right now it's about getting my gender identity and legal things taken care of.

Peace

Melissa!

Hi everyone! Well the headache is finally gone from Halloweens drinking! I kid! I had so much fun that night! I haven't been out of my place for quite sometime before then, and to go out with others who I had blast with was worth the headache! I just wish it didn't end!
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Well last night was the most fun I have had in ages! I went to work in my hippie outfit, and surprised the staff. They didn't know who I was at first, and I was mistaken for one of our hostesses. I loved it!

I waited on tables, and had so much fun with that. I introduced myself as Serenity, and only a couple tables read me as a guy. The rest all saw me as female, and used the proper pronouns. I really loved that!!! I was just having so much fun!

After work I went out with a couple girls. We had a few drinks at one bar. While we were there we had some smurfs hit on us. They were asking if they could buy us drinks, and if we would sit with them. I just sat there and smiled. I let the other girls do the talking, because they didn't think the smurfs were all that nice. The best thing at the bars was that when I was carded my ID confused them. I kept telling them that was me. One girl told me, "I would have never known." A bouncer was like, "No way is that you." I then spoke in my guys voice, and that was enough proof for him.

Then we went off to see some bands play at this other bar across town. We met up with this girls friends, and hung out for the night watching the bands and getting really drunk. It was so much fun! I haven't drank like that since July of 2008. I quit drinking then because I drove home drunk in the morning. Last night I was wasted, but I had planned it out and was safe. I took cabs home, and went to retrieve my car this morning.

Total cab fair: $25.00 with tip.
Possible DWI costs: $15,000.

I say I did it right this time around! Anyways last night was great. There is so much more to tell, and I will when I get the time and get rid of this headache!

Happy Halloween!

Well I am going to be a hippie chic! I am still working on the costume, but it's coming along. Here's a few photos...

( Halloween )

I am going to be working like this at my serving job. That will be fun. I am going to use my name Melissa, and have my co-workers call me that. I will use my female voice, which will be a challenge considering I will be talking with it all night!

I will post more photos as I add more accessories and finalize the costume!

Peace!

Melissa

I am trying to figure out if I am considered full time now? I mean I present female everyday now. I haven't really dressed male for a few weeks now. I do have more of an androgynous look, but that's how it goes in this part of transition as I am told.

Before transition going full time meant to me wearing more makeup, dressing more feminine than androgynous, and basically passing as female(for me wearing a wig or having longer hair). I know that not all females wear makeup, dress really feminine, have long hair, and do have more of an androgynous look. I think I am full time now, considering what I have been doing consistently in my daily life.

I have ran this by my therapist to see if I can get it documented, and start the life test.

What do you think?


Melissa :)

I was having a rough day, so I did manage to smile at the end of the day and I took some pictures to prove it ;)

( Photos )

As you can see my hair isn't straight. It is straighter than before, which is allowing me to style it a few different ways. I think that is what I really wanted, and what I really like about it at the moment. But I am a girl, and I will change my mind about my hair quite often ;)

Peace

Melissa

Well I was hoping my nephew would be doing better today. He isn't. He's even sadder than before, and now he wants to be a girl like me. I feel like I am messing up his life, and I don't know what to do anymore. I feel really depressed, and the thoughts of just ending my life are coming back. I have no idea of what to do. My Dad and sister are more distant to me, and it seems they are blaming me for all of this. It feels like my family is falling apart, and all of this just happened last night. My support from them seems to be fading, and now I don't know who to turn to. I just want to go lay in my bed and cry, but I can't because I am working and I can't focus at the moment on work.

This sucks!

Well I told my nephew tonight. I sat him down with the book I made for him. I read it to him tearing up at times. He thought he was in trouble the whole time. I kept assuring no one is. I finished the book. He took it hard, and kept telling me over and over that he doesn't want me to be a girl. I felt so bad. I was trying to stay strong the whole time, but broke down in tears for awhile with him. I just held him tight and kept telling him over and over I am always going to be the same person inside. I will always love you, and nothing will ever change that. After about an hour and half he calmed down and started to ask questions. He asked about my work and if anyone there will make fun of me. I said they are supportive. He said if anyone does he will stick up for me. He asked what my new name will be, and I told him Melissa. He said he liked it.

He did seem to start to come around. I hope he handles it well.

I would write more, but I am so emotionally drained I have to go to bed.

Night

Melissa

Well I had my hair relaxed yesterday, and now it's straight! It looks so much different, and when I have it styled I look androgynous leaning more towards feminine! I love it! My co-workers at my night job are going to be shocked! I never had straight hair in my adult life, except when I had a hat on and that flattened my hair. My hair feels softer and not as frizzy! I will post a vlog in the next couple day and let you all see!

Also I am told I need a training bra! The girls are starting to poke out more, and my sister last night look at me and said, "Party darts!" I probably won't get a training bra but get a sports bra instead.

Well the other night I officially came out to one of my managers at my night job. We were in the office talking casually, and she just asked me what's new. I knew she knew something, because the general manager knows and had a talk with the managers that day. I was like, "What do you mean?" She just replied, "Well I heard you are going through a big change in your life, and I think it's very cool and brave of you." I told her that it's true, and we talked for a bit about it and how it will work out at work with the other employees. She said management is behind me, and if I get any harassment to report it to them immediately. I felt really good after the talk. I plan on telling some of my co-workers soon, which you know will spread fast. They either know, or will know soon anyways.

Tomorrow is the day to tell my nephew! I saw him last night, and he liked my hair. My sister said I looked like a girl. My nephew didn't say anything like that, but he gave me a big hug and told me that he loves me. I hope it goes well tomorrow. My Dad seemed shocked by my hair and current appearance. I think he's taking it hard and coming to the realization that this is happening. I have to think of something great to do for him on his upcoming birthday! I truly have a great family!

Anyways, that's what is happening more recently!

Peace :)

Melissa!

Well this weekend is the weekend! I am telling my nephew. My sister and I are going to have the talk with him. I have a book that I made for him all set to go. I am nervous about telling him. I hope he takes it well. The plan is to tell him on Sunday morning. Then after we tell him I am going to take him, my sister and brother to see Where The Wild Things Are. I thought that something fun to do after we tell him would help.

Then on Monday my sister will have the talk with his Dad. That we are very nervous about. We think he will blow up and threaten to take my nephew away from my sister and parents. We know legally he can't do this, but he might try. He might surprise us too and be totally accepting. We don't know until we tell him.

My parents also have to tell my nephews friends parents that live in the same neighborhood as well. It's going to be a coming out weekend, and full of stress and anxiety! Oh I can't wait! I am focusing on the movie more than anything.

Well wish me luck, and I will update later this weekend!

Peace friends :)

Melissa

I saw this at work today.



One thing to note is that I don't condone violence, but these morons got what they deserved. Why can't people just let others be???

Yes, that is my real hair! No wig!

Well it's been awhile since I posted. I was thinking of doing a VLOG, but I opted to just type it out this time.

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Thanks for reading friends and have a great day!


Peace Melissa!

Well at work today I had my new pink iPod Nano on my desk. One of my bosses came by and asked if he could take a look at the new iPod. I said in just a little bit. I had to sync with my laptop to remove the videos of me. I did that and went to his office and handed it over to him. He took and look and said,"Melissas iPod." I was like oh shit! I forgot the name! Yikes. He just looked at me and smiled. He now knows my name. I didn't freak out, because I am planning on coming out either tomorrow or Friday at my day job. I am so nervous thinking about it.

Peace Melissa's iPod

Well today I went to the oral surgeon to get some wisdom teeth pulled. I went into what I thought was the dental office I needed to go to. I walked up to the receptionist and said I am here for my appointment. She said, right this way. I walked with her to her office and she said,"Ok Mary, what are we doing again today?" I looked at her and was like, "Mary? My name is ..." She said, "Oh my gosh. I am so sorry." She was all red in the face. I was so happy to be read female again! I loved it! She then told me that I am at the other office which was across the street.

I went across the street and went to my appointment. The dentist pulled the tooth in like 2 minutes and then it was over! It didn't even hurt, but now it hurts bad!!! Just a throbbing pain, and I will be taking my pain meds! So on that note I am outta here to lay down.

Peace :)

Melissa!